Erased Love (McFly Fic)
by mysticalmercy
Summary: What would you do if the person you loved, got in an accident which made them forget you? Would you let them live a new life being only friends? Would you try to help them remember your relationship? Or simply just give up? disclaimer: this is a fiction, I don't own the mcfly guys sadly. All I own is the Story/Plot.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Erased Love

Dougie's POV

It wasn't everyday you found someone which you could love more than life itself. Well I had and he was perfect in every way possible. But what would you do if that person forgot everything about you? How would you cope with the feeling of not being as important to them as you thought? Could you cope with you becoming a stranger to them again after they knew everything about you before? Would you be able to battle with yourself to not do anything something stupid for their sake?

I was sat on the counter in only sweatpants drinking my coffee, watching the blonde cook. His hair was tousled from last night's activities. I smiled to myself remembering what we did and what a racket we must have made, but honestly he made it impossible to keep quiet, he was too good. He turned to look at me showing me his perfect smile, clearly thinking about the same thing I was. I put my coffee onto the counter top, hopped down and walked up to him wrapping my arms around his neck. He turned the heat off from the pan, not once breaking eye contact with me. His eyes were beautiful, they were a deep brown almost the same colour as chocolate only with flecks of gold in them that you wouldn't notice until you were really close to

them. He bent his face an inch from mine teasingly.

"Toooom!" I whimpered. I hated when he did that. I didn't like that he was so close but yet so far. It was the way he knew he could prove he was the dominant one. So I went on my tiptoes closing my eyes as I kissed him softly. I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist. I pulled him closer and towards the wall, trailing my tongue along his bottom lip. He tasted amazing. I tangled my fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss. I moaned softly as I felt his hand move up my side. Danny came into the room and groaned "Are you pair at it again? Do you pair never rest?" I stuck my middle

fingers up at him still kissing Tom, who pulled away snickering and I whimpered.

"You're only jealous, Danny." Tom said turning to him, sticking his tongue out. Danny rolled his eyes. "Not jealous, tired. Seriously, I'm sure they heard you all the way in Australia!" I giggled and wrapped my arms around Tom's waist resting

my head on his shoulder. Harry walked in yawning his greetings, his hair still a mess from sleep.

"Harry, did we keep you awake last night?" I asked grinning. He looked at me and Tom groggily and shook his head.

"Not really. But I sleep with ear plugs in anyway." he shrugged walking to the fridge. He grabbed the milk carton and took a swig out of it. I knew Tom hated when any of us did that so I kissed his neck playfully.

Tom's POV

Dougie is perfect, honestly. He's my rock. Without him I don't know what I'd do. He was also very good at stopping arguments before they began. I closed my eyes as he kissed my neck, remembering what happened last night rather than giving Harry a bollocking.

His eyes are like pools of water which could drag you through the deepest depths of the ocean straight to the most beautiful place in the world. It was perfect and there was nothing that could ruin it. If I had a choice I could stare into his oceanic eyes all day. His eyes are like window into his beautiful soul.

"Tom... Stop teasing me and kiss me already!" The dirty blonde whimpered snapping me out of my thoughts, before pulling me towards him. Placing his lips on mine softly he tangled his fingers in my hair. While his soft lips moved perfectly with mine, he pulled me further onto him. I heard his breathing quickening with his pure want

and need to be with me. His hands trailed down my cheek to my chest leaving a hot tingly sensation behind where his hands had travelled. I never had someone that made me feel like this just by kissing me. I felt his tongue against my lower lip begging access to mine as he moved his hands to my hair again. I gave in to him, I wanted him to much. I let out a small moan which was a big mistake. His lips curved into a smile as he slid his tongue in my mouth battling for dominance, making the kiss rougher. He moaned softly as I pinned him down on the bed and straddled over him. His fingers left my hair and traced down my spine making me shiver even though I was wearing a shirt. He nipped at my lower lip and kissed down my jaw to my neck while he tugged at my shirt. But I wasn't letting him be the dominant one, not this time.

"Tom please..." He breathed against my neck making me shiver again and bite my lip.

"No." I smirked teasingly pulling his top off slowly and began kissing him again, this time deeper and rougher. I felt his hands slide up my chest and start unbuttoning my shirt slowly, discarding it on the floor right after. I kissed down his jaw to his ear, which I nipped at playfully.

"Naughty Dougie not doing as your told again, I see..." I scolded teasingly before kissing down his neck to his collar bone. He moaned and rolled us over so he was on top, thinking he would be the dominant for once. He kissed my neck hungrily hitting my spot, making me moan loudly. I heard his cute boyish giggle when he heard me. He began trailing kisses down my chest making moan louder. He was so good at

doing that to me. He pulled at my belt fumbling slightly with it and pouted when I took over undoing it.

"I could have done it" He protested.

"I know, but you were taking to long and you're making me really horny." I whispered in his ear. I noticed his eyes glint with mischief. He was gonna start toying with me even more. He unbuttoned my jeans. sliding a hand into my boxers rubbing me slowly. I was already hard so his touch made me groan in pleasure as it sent tingles

all over my body.

"Faster..." I moaned grinding myself onto him. I could tell he was enjoying this. He slid his hand out again, pulled off my jeans and boxers then began rubbing me again this time faster and with a firmer grip, making me moan louder. He giggled again as he moved, so he face on with my cock. Slowly he trailed his tongue down my length.

"oh god! Oh fuck Dougie!" I cried out as I felt him take me into his mouth, sucking me softly. "you fucking.." I groaned "tease!" I said gasping as he bit the tip.

"you love it really" he winked as he began rubbing me again.

"D-Dougie. Stop y-your gonna make me cum..." I said arching my back. He let go and started sucking on my neck. I was thankful for the break I was so close. I flipped us back over and pulling off his sweatpants. I smirked at the fact he wasn't wearing boxers again and turned him over so his back was facing me. I slid a finger into him moving it in and out slowly making him groan in pleasure.

"And you call me the tease" he gasped between moans. I pulled my finger out of him and pushed my length into him, which made him gasp slightly.

"Wow your tight tonight. You okay?" I breathed in his ear to which he nodded and I started thrust into him slowly. "Fuck Tom, faster!" He moaned. Every thrust he moaned louder. "Tom, oh god! I fucking love you!" He moaned as I wrapped an arm

around him, grabbing his dick and rubbing it faster as I thrusted harder, making us moan louder and louder in turn. "F-fuck Tom, I think I'm gonna!"

"Me too!" I said breathing erratically.

"F-FUCK TOM!" Dougie moaned louder than ever and came in my hand.

"HOLY SHIT DOUGIE!" I cried out cumming violently into him. "oh god!" Dougie groaned loudly as I pulled out of him and collapsed on the bed beside him panting heavily. I looked down at Dougie watching his chest rise and fall quickly as we tried to get our breath back.

"I love you Tommie" he said breathlessly cuddling up to my chest. I kisses his forehead softly as I wrapped my arms around him.

"I love you too Dougs"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Dougie's POV

I heard Danny grunt and walk out of the room when he saw I was kissing Tom's neck. Harry on the other hand was totally oblivious it was even happening. I sucked at the nape of his neck making him stifled a quiet moan only audible to me. I smirked and pulled away teasingly, as I set to work, grabbing plates out of the draw and placing them on the table. Tom watched me the whole time.

After we had breakfast I turned to Danny who had been giving me filthy looks all morning.

"What is your fucking problem Danny?"

"Nothing. I don't see why you two must be sexing each other 24/7. I mean it's fucking ridiculous! At least we use to have a conversation before you pair came out and said you were together!" He snapped and I rolled my eye leaving the room not wanting to argue with him. "See! Even when I tell you the truth you piss off" he shouted after me. "Bite me!" I shouted from mine and Tom's room. I flopped down on the

bed, remembering back to the times we would have to sneak about behind everyone's backs. Harry and Danny would go away on weekends or would stay round their girlfriends houses sometimes. So Tom and I would make excuses to our girlfriends. Which we only had to keep everyone off our case as we were to scared at what might happen. We would make excuses, saying why they couldn't come round or why we couldn't go round theirs. Just so we would have our alone time. I almost lost him at one point as we had an argument as sneaking around was taking it's tole on us. It was horrible and I seriously never want it to happen again. But that night Tom had shown me his vulnerable side. It was kinda fit actually. He had switched from a 26 year old sex god to a child in need of protecting. As the storm we had that night, was scarring him.

As the lights kept going out, making him freak out about the dark. However after he stitched me up after my accident in the shower we ended up having a bath together... I have to say make up sex, in a bath is fucking amazing! Giggling to myself remembering other stuff we did with the risk of being caught at any second. It was actually quite exhilarating. Sometimes I missed it, as everything was so exciting and new. I closed my eyes falling to sleep slowly.

Tom's POV

I sat watching Danny for a while, after Dougie went upstairs. I couldn't quite tell if Danny was jealous of Dougie, as Danny and I use to hang out a lot. Or something else. Sighing I grabbed my car keys and turned to him. "You wanna come to Tesco's with me to pick up something for dinner tonight?" "yeah sure." he shrugged slipping on his shoes and followed me out to the car.

On the way back from the store I decided to ask Danny about why he's suddenly being a dick.

"Danny?"

"hmm?"

"why do you keep giving Dougie shit?"

"mate I don't know it's since you guys came out me and him haven't really go on."

"yeah I had noticed that... But why?"

"not a fucking clue. Although it doesn't really help with you pair going at it like rabbits every two minutes... you're not exactly quiet, especially him." I laughed when he said that. He wasn't wrong, however there had been so many nights where I would have to listen to Georgia's screams.

"You and Gee aren't exactly quiet either." he shot me a filthy look that I caught in the corner of my eye and shook my head. "And you moan that Dougie doesn't like the truth"

"Fuck off will ya. Gay sex isn't really my cup of tea when it comes to listening to it!"

"oh I'm sorry, I thought you said you didn't have a problem with me and Dougs being together. If I remember correctly your exact words were 'as long as your both happy and don't break the band up, then I'm all for you two being together. You actually suit each other'" I took my eyes off the road for five seconds at most but it happened to

quickly...

Dougie's POV

I jumped awake. I could of swore I heard Tom's yell of pain... Something wasn't right. I stumbled of the bed feeling as if half of my soul had been ripped to pieces. 'Tom needs me.' My brain screamed. Something was very wrong, he had been hurt badly. I could tell. I crawled to the landing hearing the phone ring. Harry had answered it,

as he was next to the phone. I pulled myself up onto my feet and stumbled around the house in search of Tom. "TOM!" I shouted panicking, looking for him. Where was he?

I was in the kitchen when I heard Harry's sudden intake of breath. I griped onto the kitchen counter tightly wanting to know what Harry was being told. He looked up to me with sad eyes. It must have been bad news he looked like he had been kicked in the gut. "Not Tom please. Please don't let it be about Tom." I whispered to myself tears spilling from my eyes and down my face from worry, as I hadn't found him anywhere in the house. Harry nodded and said his goodbye before putting the phone down. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. He was shaking. or was that me?

"Dougie."

"yeah?"

"Erm... its about Tom and Danny"

"w-what's happened?" I looked up at his face into his eyes, trying to see if they could tell me what had happened. They were blank, emotionless. What ever he had been told he was hiding how he felt very well.

"They..." he was trying to figure out how to say what he had been told. "They had a car accident.. And Tom was the one driving..." he swallowed. "He swerved to avoid hitting a deer and ended up smashing into a lorry head on. He's in sugary now." He said quietly as if he couldn't believe it himself. I stood there in shock and slid to the

floor feeling as if someone had ripped my heart right out of my chest. "A-and Danny?" he knelt next to me putting a hand on my shoulder to try and comfort me.

"Danny has a broken leg... Also a few cuts and bruises" He swallowed awaiting my reaction. He didn't need to wait long. I cried out and pushed Harry away causing him to collided into the wall with a loud "OOFT". I didn't wanna hear anymore. If Tom died I'd be nothing but an empty shell. He was my universe. If he wasn't in it, then life wouldn't be worth living anymore. I curled into a ball sobbing more. I could tell he was still alive. Just. It just hurt me so much knowing he was in so much pain. And I could do nothing to help him at all.

"Please Tom. Please be alright. Please stay strong and fight I cant lose you. Not now. Please." I whispered pleading for him to be okay. Harry crawled over to me still winded from hitting the wall. "Dougie he's in good hands. He'll fight this, you just need to believe in him." "I-I-I-I know. B-but it hurts h-Harry. I-It hurts s-s-so m-much. H-hes in s-so much pain and I-I-I cant help h-him. I-I c-can feel it" I said

between sobs. Harry nodded and pulled me into a hug and let me sob into his chest.

Three hours later I woke up in my bed confused as to how I had gotten there. Was it a dream? I looked at the sleeping figure next to me. The brunette was snoring softly. I rubbed my eyes stifling a yawn and crawled out of bed slowly so not to wake Harry. I could tell Tom was still hurt. I didn't know how, I just could. It made my heart ache. I

walked into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked ghostly. My eye looked like two dark hollows. They were blood shot from all my crying as well. I was pale, very pale. I couldn't bare to see any more so I turned towards the shower tugging off my clothes slowly. I took in a deep breath and I stepped in. Slowly I turned on the water, letting it drum against my body. "He's okay... He's going to be okay... The Tom I know would never give up" I whispered to myself.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Tom's POV

Everything was hazy. I couldnt think straight all I knew was I needed Dougie. I needed to tell him something... Before it was to late... Dougie, I...

Harry POV

There was no way I was letting him drive. Not in his state. I had seen Dougie in a bad state before when his girlfriend cheated on him... When his bestfriend, James from school died. The guy had been through the works. But honestly it pained me to see him like this, he had never looked this bad. His eyes were blank as if no one was there, they were blood shot from crying and there were dark bags under them.

He was sat with his knees against his chest biting the skin around his fingernails as he had already bitten them down to nearly nothing. Some of his fingers were bleeding. Either from him biting his nails to low or from ripping the skin off with his teeth. He hadnt brushed his hair so it laid bedraggled over his face, still damp from his shower. His clothes weren't much better he looked like he had gotten dressed in the dark. He had thrown on his ripped skinnys that he was going to throw away, a wrinkled white T-shirt which had green paint on from when we were painting the band room the other day. Also I don't know if it was intentional but he was wearing Tom's cardigan, that was way too big for him. The sleeves dangled over his hands as they were to

long for his arms. It was as if the life had been zapped right out of him. In the corner of my eye I saw him starting to rock himself which he did when he was in distress. Tom had started him doing that. Whenever Dougie had gotten scared or was crying, Tom would hold him tightly to his chest and would rock him softly to calm him down. God I hoped Tom was okay for his sake.

Danny's POV

This was all my fault. We were sat round Tom's bed. Dougie hadnt said one word to me or even looked at me since he had gotten here. He was just holding Tom's hand tightly wishing for him to wake up. But he wouldn't, not for a few days anyway. The doctors had put him in a medically induced coma so he could heal quicker. He was in a bad way.

His left leg was broken, he had three broken ribs, a fractured arm. As well as Large cuts and bruises all over his body. A huge cut across his cheek, a black eye and he had hit his head very hard. I was grateful that I had only gotten a few scrapes and a broken leg. But I couldn't help but feel guilty for everything. If I hadn't have snapped at him about Dougie being to loud he wouldn't have taken his eyes off the road to snap back at me... I put my head in my hand.

"this is my fault" I whispered to myself. I felt a hand on my back and rub it slightly sending tingles down my spine. I heard Harrys soft husky voice whisper "stop blaming yourself you could never have know this was going tohappen" he forced a weak smiles to try and reassure me, but it wouldn't work.

Dougie's POV

A week had passed and I didn't leave his side unless when they took him for x-rays and MRI scans. I slept in the chair next to his bed, always holding his hand just in case he woke up. I wasn't leaving his side never again. A doctor walked in looking at some result from his MRI, then at me with a sad expression. He grabbed a small stool

sitting across from me.

"Mr Poynter, I understand from your fellow band mates that you and Mr Fletcher are a couple?" he said softly. "Y-yeah w-why?" I stuttered. The doctor took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Mr Poynter I've looked at Mr Fletchers results and everything seems fine with his brain. However, he may suffer some amnesia." I swallowed and looked at Tom squeezing his hand tighter."S-so he won't remember certain things?" the doctor nodded. "we won't know how bad the amnesia will be until he wakes up. Which should be in the next few hours." "o-okay... H-how bad could the amnesia be?" I swallowed again not quite believing my ears. The thought of Tom not remembering stuff was ripping at my heart.

"he could just not remember the accident or he could have forgotten everything in the last ten years.. No one really knows yet" he explained. Harry walked into the room looking like he had been crying. I looked towards the doctor who was now standing up. "s-so he could potentially not remember any of us or anything about the band? O-or u-us?" I pointed at myself and then Tom as I said the last part. He nodded shortly and left the room. I sat there in just staring at Tom. Harry walked over slowly and lifted me onto his lap so he could sit on the chair, I buried my head in his chest and cried at the thought of Tom not remembering me and him together. All the

memories of us, lost. All the time we spent and the love we had for each other. Just forgotten. After a while my sobs slowed into hiccups as I remembered he could be okay he could still remember everything, why was I thinking the worst? Tom had fought this far. There was nothing stopping him remembering everything. I looked up at him. My vision blurry from the tears that still streamed down my face silently. I clambered off Harry's lap to whisper in Tom's ear "Tom. I'm here I'm never leaving your side. I just need you to remember one thing. I love you with my whole heart and soul. I will never leave you even if you don't remember us together at first. I'm always going to be here, cos I love you so. So much..." I placed my lips onto his forehead kissing it softly, before sitting back down onto Harry's lap waiting for him to wake up. Still never let go of his hand. Not once...

Tom's POV

I kept going in and out of consciousness. I heard beeping of machines and could feel something attached to my left hand. I could also feel hands, holding my right hand tightly, it sent tingles down my arm which was really weird. I heard crying. It sounded so familiar but yet so unrecognisable. Then a shaky whisper. "Tom. I'm here I'm never leaving your side. I just need you to remember one thing. I love you with my whole heart and soul. I will never leave you, even if you don't remember us together at first. I'm always going to be here, cos I love you so. So much..." I knew the voice but when I tried to think of the face I just got a black blur. Who was it?! I felt someone kiss my forehead, sending what felt like an electric shock through my body as I blacked out again.

Harrys POV

I watched Butty quietly, rubbing his back slowly. He had almost fallen to sleep when Tom groaned making him jump awake again. "Tom I'm here. I'm right here." He said tightening his grip on Tom's hand, standing up quickly. Tom's eyes opened into slits as I walked to the other side of the bed.

"Hey Tom, how's your head?" I asked softly. He had his eyes open fully now. "How do you think I feel douche bag?" He said coughing as he looked over at Dougie with slight confusion. Then down at his hand that he was still holding.

"That bad?" I snorted. Somehow it made me feel better talking to him like he wasn't hurt. "I feel like ive gone twenty rounds with a kangaroo" He joked. I guess he still remembered everything. I looked over at Doug who was smiling softly. "Bits... It's all a bit fuzzy to be honest" he groaned as he tried sitting up. Immediately I placed my hands on his shoulders to stop him. Causing him to groan in pain. "Sorry Tom but you can't sit up yet. You've just come out of a coma..." I apologized quickly before looking up at Dougie who squeezed Tom's hand. I saw Tom looking at him too, but with confusion. Almost as if he didn't know him.

"Harry?" he asked turning to look at me. "Yeah mate?" He motioned me to come closer so he could whisper in my ear. I did as I was told. "H-Harry... W-who is that? That guy holding my hand?" He whispered. Oh, this wasn't good. I swallowed hard looking up at Dougie. I could already tell he heard what Tom said as his lip quivered. He let go of Tom's hand and ran out of the room crying.

"DOUGIE! WAIT!" I shouted after him "Tom. I'm sorry I know you've just woken up but I need to go see if he's okay." He nodded once wincing in pain as he moved his head. I chased after Dougie quickly. "DOUGIE!"

Tom's POV

I watched Harry run out of the room after the small blonde guy, who had raced out crying. It pained me listening to his sobs. They seemed so familiar to me, even though I didn't know him. He had seemed so upset by what I had asked Harry but I couldn't tell why...

Dougie's POV

"DOUGIE!" I heard Harry shout breathlessly after me. I ran faster. I was crying so hard I was barely able to see where I was going. I skidded round the corner and just collapsed on the floor, my sobs shaking my whole body. My Tom was gone. He had completely forgotten me. My heart ached knowing he had forgotten everything between us. Four years knowing each other two of which we've been together. Lost.

All the love. The memories. Gone. I felt empty. I curled up pulling my knees to my chest as I felt big strong arms wrap around me. I looked up hoping they were Tom's but of course they wasn't. I could tell. I never got the tingly feeling in my skin which would send my heart racing, like I got when Tom's skin touched mine. It was Harry. He cuddled me to his chest and started rocking me softly like Tom would as I just sobbed into his chest. Why? What had I done to deserve this? What had I done for the love of my life to completely forget I existed let alone that he had promised to be mine forever. Suddenly the silver engagement ring on my finger felt cold and heavy just like my heart.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Harry' POV

He had been crying for over an hour. It was worrying me. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get him to stop. I knew the doctor that was looking after Tom had been worrying about him too. He had come up to us and give Dougie an injection sneakily, to make him fall asleep. I watched his chest rise and fall softly as he slept peacefully in a bed in the same room as Tom's. I would have rather have taken him home

though. I didn't think him waking up to Tom in the beside him would be a good thing.

"Harry?" I looked around noticing Tom had been talking to me. "yeah? Sorry.. my mind was else where. What was you saying?" "I asked where Danny was and who is that guy over there" he nodded weakly to where Dougie was laying sound asleep. "I know his name is Dougie as you shouted it when you went after him.." he said.

"he... He's.." I wanted to say that he was his boyfriend/fiancé but I remembered what the doctor had told me earlier on 'you can't tell him anything that can cause him great stress' which meant that I couldn't tell him that. He would have to remember on his own. "he's our bass player Tom. Can't you remember. It was you who told us to choose him." I smiled faintly. Telling him that wouldn't hurt... Would it? I saw

his face screw up in deep thought.

"I... I think I remember that.. Harry? Why can't I remember anything!?" he said helplessly. I hated him getting upset as Dougie was the only person who really knew how to calm him down and make him happy again. But this time he couldn't. I felt sorry for Tom. He'd lost every happy memory he had, as they all included Dougie. I stood up placing a hand on Tom's leg.

"I'm going to see how Danny is I'll be back soon" I smiled walking out of the room peering over my shoulder once to make sure Dougie was still asleep.

Danny's POV

I heard Dougie crying earlier. So what I wanted most had come true. But it tore me apart with guilt. Sure I might not have wanted them together but I certainly didn't want Tom to forget Butty. That's the worst thing to happen. Knowing the person you love more than anything in the world has forgotten everything about you. My attention was brought back to my room as I heard the door creek open, I looked up

and saw Harry walk in. A smile spread across my face watching him enter the room.

"how you feeling?" he asked, smiling. "eh... I dunno. I feel guilty for

everything that's happened..." "Dan it's not your fault. None of this is. It was a very unfortunate accident. You couldn't have know this was going to happen." he said

placing a hand on mine. I swallowed at the feeling it gave me. It was

weird, but I pushed it to the back of my mind.

"I know but it was my fault Tom took his attention off the road." he nodded once.

"tell me exactly what happened."

"Danny?" Tom mumbled "hmm?" I was starring out of the window thinking about something Harry had said yesterday. "why do you keep giving Dougie shit?" was he seriously bringing this up now? "I don't know. It's since you guys came out, me and him, we haven't really got along" its not that they were gay, that we didn't get

along. It was the fact Dougie has the guts to just say it. I envied him because of that. I'm not saying I'm gay. I'm bi. I just don't know how to tell them. I know they wouldn't mind me being bi... But I just don't know how to tell people things about me. Not relationship wise anyway. I mean I hadn't even told anyone me and Georgia had split up over a month ago. Even Harry only found out about us splitting up, from her. I ended it because, one. I caught her in bed with her manager. All the time we had been together she had been cheating on me with him. She even admitted it to me when I caught her. Two, I couldn't cope with her constant jealousy and everything always having to be about her. And three, I think I'm in love with one of my best

friends...

"yeah I noticed that... but why?" I shrugged at the question. "not a fucking clue. Although it doesn't really help with you pair going at it like rabbits every two minutes... Your not exactly quiet, especially him." he chuckled he knew I was right about Butty. "You and Gee aren't exactly quiet either." I gritted my teeth shooting

him a filthy look. Sure it was true but if I had just told him about me and her, he might not have brought that up. He shook his head to my reaction. "And you moan that Dougie doesn't like the truth" I knew the truth and he was right she did scream, a lot, but I didn't like to think of her. Not after we split up it tore at me knowing she was

cheating on me the entire time we were together. "Fuck off will ya. Gay sex isn't really my cup of tea when it comes to listening to it!" I snapped I hadn't meant to say that. Tom turned on me taking his eyes off the road.

"oh I'm sorry, I thought you said you didn't have a problem with me and Dougs being together. If I remember correctly your exact words were 'as long as your both happy and don't break the band up then I'm all for you two being together. You actually suit each other'" I had said that and it was true I was happy they were happy but they didn't need to tell the world every single night. Before I could say anything

back my eyes flicked to the road.

"TOM!" he snapped his attention back to the road and swerved the car to avoid hitting the deer, throwing us sideways as he did. He tried to swerve out of the way of the on coming lorry but he was too slow. I saw the lorry driver panic trying to stop the collision as well but it all happened to quick. The metal in front of us crumpled and trapped my leg causing it to snap. I cried out in pain, almost passing out from it. I watched Tom being thrown forward like a rag doll. I heard his ribs break and his leg. Then this bloody curdling yell. If I hadn't have seen Tom's lips move I would never have thought it was from anything human.

"DOUGIE!" he shouted it was as if he was shouting for his help. He blacked out and I started to panic trying to break free making the pain in my leg worse. "I'm sorry" I said in a whisper as I passed out from the pain.

I felt Harry's grip on my hand tighten and I could see him starting to tear up with what I said. "Harry. It's fine were I'm okay and so is Tom" I smiled faintly trying to comfort him. Harry wasn't the one to cry but he did it an awful lot lately. I think it was because Izzy had broken up with him three weeks ago. He to hadn't told Tom or Dougie about it. Harry had found out that me and Gee had split up, a couple weeks ago when he bumped into her on the street. So he told me about Izzy ending it between them. So

we both decided that we would still make it look like we were still together with them by going on trips together. Like mountain climbing. Just something to take our mind off things and to get away from Tom and Dougie... Although Harry could easily take my mind off Gee just by being around me.

Tom's POV

I looked over at Dougie watching his chest rise and fall his face was screwed up as if he was having a nightmare. He was also whimpering softly. So he was the bass player of our band. I closed my eyes as an image flicked into my mind. It was of us all laughing but it was hazy. It was as if I was watching an old black and White TV with static distorting the picture. But then I just got blackness, like there was a brick wall blocking me from remembering something very important to me. It gave me a head ache trying to force myself to remember. Putting a hand to my forehead I gazed over at the small figure in the bed beside me.

"no... Tom." Dougie mumbled groaning. "please Tom. Don't!" I watched him toss and turn frantically. Somewhere deep inside me was trying to get me to comfort him but I couldn't. "TOM!" he jumped awake as if he had been shot. His chest heaved as he

tried to get he's breathing under control. There were droplets of sweat trailing down his forehead. Some of which dripped onto his bed from his creased brow. I noticed he was very close to tears.

"Are you alright?" I asked cautiously. "y-y-yeah... I-I think." he swallowed and wiped his eyes. "are you sure you seem a little shaken" "yeah I'm fine. Just.. A nightmare. I get them quite often" he nodded "are they usually about me" he thought for a minute before shaking his head half heartedly. "was I sleep talking again?" I chewed my lip before saying "you were sleep talking yes... B-but when you say again. See I don't

know.. I can't remember, I can't remember anything to do... Do with you... I-I'm sorry." he shook his head. I saw a single tear fall down his cheek before he quickly brushed it away.

n-no it's not y-your fault... I-I'm clearly n-not awesome enough to be remembered.." he said shakily, forcing a laugh after. I looked down at my hands. I knew I had hurt him saying that but it was the truth I knew nothing about the small blonde who was in the bed beside me. All I did know was his name was Dougie and he is our bass player. I frowned noticing a white band around my finger where I guessed a ring should be... Was I married or engaged? I shook my head. It probably meant nothing. If I was either of them. My wife or fiancé would be here.. Right?

Dougie's POV

I watched him look down at his hands and notice he should have a ring on his finger. But the doctors had given me his stuff two days ago so I had put his ring on with mine. It helped me keep strong while he was in his coma. But now they just felt like two ice cold bands round my finger. While he wasn't looking I slipped his ring off my finger and threaded it onto a rope cord which was around my neck. I usually would

keep my ring on there when we would do gigs as the fans didn't know about me and Tom. However if he never remembered us together they never would find out. I slipped the ring on the cord under my shirt and shivered when the cold metal touched my chest. It was like it was telling me me and Tom would never get back together.

"I wouldn't say it was because of that. I mean, I would never have wanted you in the band if you wasn't awesome enough." he smiled softly showing his dimple as he did. His smile made my heart skip a beat as it usually did. I felt my cheeks get hot as I blushed. What are you doing! Stop blushing! He doesn't know you two were together and her certainly doesn't know you love him! You have to hide it until he remembers.

"oh.. So your saying I'm too awesome, and that's the reason you don't remember me" I said smiling. Stop. Stop it now Dougie. He's going to get suspicious of you. "Maybe, who knows?" he coughed a laugh and groaned softly at the pain. "Tom you should rest." I said clambering out of bed. "you had a really bad accident." I helped him lay backward. My whole body tingling as his skin was touching mine. I swallowed as I tried to ignore it, and hoped he didn't feel it. I heard him take a sharp intake of breath

which made me stop breathing completely. "d-did I hurt you?" I said quietly.

"n-no it's m-my chest it's like it's on fire" he groaned "I'll go get the doctor" I ran out of the room, coming back seconds later with the doctor. "How are you feeling mr Fletcher? " "I can't breathe." he said taking small sharp breaths. "m-my chest

feels like it's on fire" the doctor nodded as he asked a nurse to bring him some morphine.

"ok mr Fletcher I'm going to give you some morphine for the pain and then I'm going to take you for an X-ray to see what's going on. Tom looked over at me suddenly really scared. He was panicking and held his hand out for me to hold. I took his hand in mine squeezing it softly.

"Tom they won't hurt you. They want to make you better. I won't let them hurt you" I smiled softly trying to keep my pulse normal as he tightened his grip on my hand. What was he doing to me? "o-o-okay" Tom nodded and the doctor injected him with the morphine. Tom was shaking slightly as the needle punctured his skin. He never

liked needles but he wasn't like me I usually fainted at the sight of them. I had no idea how I was able to stay awake when getting my tattoo. I just looked him in the eyes so I didn't see the needle and felt him squeeze my hand tighter.

"it's okay Tom" I looked over at the doctor who discarded the needle and nodded at me. "it's done now. See that didn't hurt much did it?" I smiled at him weakly as I felt a little queasy. He shook head "th-thanks Dougie" he smiled back at me. I let go of his hand reluctantly as the nurses started to get him ready to be moved for his X-ray. I saw Tom's hand move to take mine again. Did he remember something about me or was he just scared? "d-Dougie!" "Tom it's only an X-ray. I can't come with you but I won't move from this room. I'll be here when you get back" "o-okay, promise?" "promise" I smiled softly to him as they rolled his bed out of the room. I collapsed on the floor feeling as if someone kicked the air out of my lungs. Struggling to breathe I saw Harry run in worried. "Dougie are you okay? What's happened? Where have they taken Tom?"

Harry POV

I helped Dougie control his breathing by rubbing his back. He was having a panic attack. "it's okay Doug. He's going to be fine." "I-it's not th-that... W-when h-he was h-having the injection... He reached out for me straight away. H-Harry he didn't want m-me to leave him. But he told me he doesn't remember anything. Harry I'm so

confused" he stammered as he clung to my chest. So the needle was the reason for the panic attack, I was sure if that. "Dougie just give him time. He will remember eventually" "b-b-but y-you don't understand Harry! We were going to get married in

3 months. Harry h-he's not going to remember me ever. I'm nothing special if I was I'd be the first person he'd remember!" he started to sob and I hugged him to me.

"you wanna know what Danny told me about Tom and that crash?" he nodded burring his head into my shirt. "he told me, the last thing Tom said before he passed out, was your name. Which means his last thought going through his mind, when he thought he was going to die, was you. You're more special to him than you think. He might not remember you now, cos he's healing. We both know Tom loves you more than anything. He loves you more than Marvin, Disney and star wars put together. Now

stop putting yourself down, you need to be strong for Tom. The reason he reached out to you, was because deep down he knows he loves you and trusts you with his heart" I looked down at Dougie who had stopped crying and was now looking up at me. "o-okay... I-I-I have to be strong f-for Tom." he nodded "I-I-I need to let him remember in his own time..." "now that's more like it" I smiled "he needs you to be there for him.

How does it go? For better or for worse?" he nodded and hugged me, smiling lightly. He needed to be strong, so I guessed that's what he was doing. He was going to get stronger for Tom. Even though he wasn't alone, its only something he can do.

"thanks, haz" I smiled as he pecked my cheek. "any time Butty" I said ruffling his hair before yawning.

"Harry you should go home and rest. All you've done is deal with me, Tom and Danny. You must be zonked. I can look after Tom and Danny for now, you just go home and sleep." I was going to protest but I knew he was right so I simply nodded, stood up and left.

Dougie POV

Tom was taken back into surgery, as one of his ribs almost punctured his lung. I was now pacing around the room nervously waiting for him to come out. No one would tell me what was happening or how long he'd be, so I was getting more and more stressed. I looked at the clock for at least the fiftieth time in the past minute. It really felt as if someone had put time on freeze. I hated it. I just wanted Tom. I wanted to be next to him. I wanted to talk to him. Sure he might not remember me but I could help him. Just little things at first and then maybe he would eventually remember 'us'. Harry was right, I had to be strong for Tom. He had supported me through loads so now it was my turn...

Tom was wheeled back into the room after two hours of waiting. All I knew was, I was a wreck and I needed sleep, but I didn't want to. Not while he was still in pain. I wanted to help him, I wanted him to get better quickly. I slumped into the chair next to him but I fell to sleep instantly.

"Dougie? Dougs?" I heard his soft voice against my ear, then I felt his arms wrap around my waist waking me up. I blinked a few times trying to get use to the light and I saw his face next to mine. The golden flecks in his eyes glittering in the sunlight. His thick blonde hair blowing gently in the breeze, almost angelic. His gorgeous dimple smile got wider as I looked up at him. "T-Tom?" I asked confused, which made him giggle. "Is my sleeping beauty still half asleep?" I blushed lightly.

I-I guess... Where are we?" "were at the park, Dougs. It was your idea for the picnic" I sat up slowly looking at the hamper on the blanket that lay on the dark green grass. I looked around, we were near a huge oak tree and there were random flowers dotted around the field we were in. I looked up at the sky the sun warm in the cloudless blue sky, taking in a deep breath. "Dougs what's wrong?" "n-nothing... I'm just a little.. Sleepy" I said yawning "owh I'm sorry I should have let you rest some more" "no it's fine" I said laying down next to him, smiling softly. He smiled wider and leaned over me, pressing his lips to mine tenderly. My heart fluttered and I started to kiss him back, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him onto me more. I felt his tongue trail along my lower lip before he slid it into my mouth, making me moan his

name softly. His hands travelled over my skin quickly, making my skin feel as if it was on fire. I pulled him further onto me, deepening the kiss, causing him to start kissing me more hungrily. I groaned sliding his shirt up and moved my hands over his abs. he gasped and started kissing down my neck making me moan his name louder.

"f-fuck me, you're a god!" I moaned as he began kissing down my collar bone. "I intend to" he winked, pulling off my top quickly and planting butterfly kisses down my chest. "h-holy fuck!" I cried out as I balled my hands into fists, grabbing

onto the blanket we were on. I arched my back as he got lower and lower, then groaned as he gave me a love bite on my hip bone...

I felt someone shake me softly. "Butty, come on wake up" Danny's thick bolton accent woke me up instantly. I groaned awake opening my eyes into slits.

"whaaaat?" I whined in protest. "You were moaning.. Really loud. I'm surprised you didn't wake Tom up, seeing as it was his name you were moaning." He said chuckling softly. "fuck, sorry." "Nah, no need to be. Sounded like a good dream" he snorted and sat down awkwardly in the chair beside me and placed his crutches onto the floor. "Danny what do you want?" "Nothing, I just wanted to see how you're coping"

"How do you think? Really Danny? My soon to be husband can't remember jack shit about me, but some how trusts me enough to want me to look after him." I snapped, mainly as I had just been woken up but also to his dumb question. "look! This isn't my fault! I didn't make that deer get in the way! I only wanted to know if you're alright, but no. You bite my head off!"

I sighed giving up to him. "I'm sorry.. I'm just stressed.. and tired." I said weakly. He nodded and looked up at Tom's sleeping figure. "How is he?" "I have no idea. He had just gotten out of surgery when I fell to sleep." I looked down at my feet ashamed of myself. "Why was he in surgery?" he said with a panic in his voice, making me frown slightly. "One of his ribs almost punctured his lung.." "Oh... But he should be alright now though?" I nodded looking up at Tom and took hold of his hand briefly. "How about you? How are you feeling?" "Tired. It's hard to sleep in a hospital. The constant beeping and running about keeps me up"

"owh, sorry. I'm sure you'll be able to go home tomorrow. I mean 'cos you only really have a broken leg. Not that I'm saying that's not as painful.." he nodded laughing a little. "Yeah I know. The doc said I can go as soon as Harry gets back." I noticed a small smile spread across his face as he said Harry's name. Did he like him more than a friend? Nahh, this is Danny, he's as straight as they come.. Apart from when he's on stage, that is. Damn I must be real tired. I shook my head, trying to shake the thought out of my head and looked back to Tom.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Danny POV

"I'm finally going home! I'll be able to sleep in my own bed! Away from all this noise!" I cheered as Harry walked into the room, looking a lot better than he had the day before. "You seem rather... Excited.. Who are you and what have you done to

moody Danny?" he laughed. "What?" I grinned "I've been cooped up in this hospital, unable to sleep. Damn right, I'm excited to go home and get some proper sleep" "Alright, I'm just gonna check on Tom and Butty then we can get going"

I nodded and sighed as he was about to leave. "Erm.. Haz?" "hmm? S'up?"

"I think Dougie may try -it- again if Tom doesn't remember him soon.." I said quietly making him turn on his heel and stare at me with a frown.

"Dan... What has he said?" "nothing.. It's just that.. I spoke to him last night and.. I can tell he's broken without Tom and well.. Look what happened last time they

had a fight.. He tried hurting himself then.. It's only a matter of time before he actually does try something. Also with the wedding in three months it's going to push him to it again even quicker.." "oh fuck.."

"Harry you saw what he tried to do when him and Frankie broke up.. If Tom doesn't remember him.. He will do -it- this time. He'll find a way." I said weakly, watching Harry sink down into a chair with his head in his hands, cursing under his breath. He knew what I was talking about without me having to say what. "You really think he will?"

"Haz, I saw it in his eyes... He may have not been thinking about it, but I can tell deep down in the back of his mind, the idea is there.." I swallowed watching Harry intently. I could tell he didn't know what to do. Heck, I didn't know what to do. I don't think anyone would know..

Harry POV

Shit what am I gonna do!? Dougie can't try that again. No I wouldn't let him. I love him too much (as a brother) to let him try that again. "I'm just gonna have to make sure I keep an eye on him at all times..." I said "what you gonna do Harry? Watch him while he's in the bathroom? What about when you're asleep? Harry you can't watch him all the time. It's impossible." Danny had a point I couldn't but I could try. Three month could be plenty of time for Tom to get his memory back. But it could

also be long enough for someone to give up all hope. "Dan what can we do to stop him?"

"I dunno Haz. I just don't know." I sighed and got up to go see Doug. Maybe he wasn't as bad as Danny said. Dougie said he would be strong for the both of them but was he even strong enough for himself?

When I looked into the room Tom was in I saw them both smiling. Doug was sat on the chair next to the bed, with a guitar, strumming the chords to 'The heart never lies" while Tom was sat up on his bed, looking worn out but like he was enjoying himself. While trying to remember and sing the lyrics, with a little help from Doug. They were

both in there element. It didn't look like Doug was struggling like he was about the fact Tom couldn't remember him. He knew music would bring them together, like it did all them years ago. It was cute really when you thought about it. Two souls who would never meet in any other situation, managed to find there way to each other with

music. Damn I wish I had that. I wish I could spend my life with someone I truly love and to be connected with in some way. I thought Izzy had been the one, but I was wrong. I've stuffed up every relationship and friendship I've had, apart my friendships with Tom, Dougie and Danny. They were like brothers to me. Although at times I

wondered if I did see them as brothers..

I sighed and walked back into Danny. "come on, lets go home." I said to Danny in a sad tone. "Haz are you alright? You sound upset.." Dan asked. It was nice knowing someone cared about me. Danny had been the only one there for me when Izzy left, as I didn't wanna upset Tom and Doug. They were too happy together. I nodded, but before I could turn back to the door, Dan pulled me into a tight hug. "it's okay Has. You won't be alone forever. I mean.. You have me to keep you company" he said with pain in his voice. Was he as lonely as me? I wrapped my arms around his waist slowly, pulling him closer automatically. I always loved hugging Danny, cos he made the pain go away. I didn't know why either. I guess cos he's in a similar situation to me. But right now all I cared about was hugging Dan.

Dougie POV

"how about this song?" I said before strumming the tune to Transylvania. "I... I think so..." Tom said before singing. 'who is your lover' "you want me to sing the whole song for you?" I knew it was one of his favourite's. Mainly cos I guess it was an alright song and because I wrote it. He nodded smiling, so I cleared my throat before starting strumming the song from the beginning.

"Anne Boleyn she kept a tin,

Which all her hopes and dreams were in,

She plans to run away with him, forever. Never to be seen again

Leaves a note and starts to choke,

Can feel the lump that's in her throat,

It's raining and she leaves her coat in silence.

We're sorry but we disagree

The boy is vermin, can't you see?

We'll drown his sins in misery

And rip him out of history

People marching to the drums,

Everybody's having fun to the sound of love,

Ugly is the world we're on

If I'm right then prove me wrong

I'm stunned to find a place we belong

Who is your lover,

I couldn't tell,

When hell freezes over,

That's when I tell,

Who is your lover,

I couldn't tell,

When will this stop.

Racing,

Pacing,

In the dark,

She's searching for a lonely heart,

She finds him but his heart has stopped,

She breaks down.

We're sorry but your majesty,

Refusing orders from the queen

Results in a monstrosity

Remembers a voice and hears him sing

People marching to the drums,

Everybody's having fun to the sound of love,

Ugly is the world we're on

If I'm right then prove me wrong

I'm stunned to find a place we belong

Who is your lover,

I couldn't tell,

When hell freezes over,

That's when I tell,

Who is your lover,

I couldn't tell,

When will this stop.

People marching to the drums,

Everybody's having fun to the sound of love,

Ugly is the world we're on

If I'm right then prove me wrong

I'm stunned to find a place we belong

Who is your lover,

I couldn't tell,

When hell freezes over,

That's when I tell,

Who is your lover,

I couldn't tell,

When will this stop!"

he clapped when I finished singing. "you're an amazing singer!" he stated, making me turn a faint shade of pink. "nah, I'm not. Honestly you and Danny are by far the better singers" "oh shush, stop lying to yourself. You're an amazing singer and don't

let anyone else tell you otherwise he smiled. I felt my heart flutter when he said that.

"th-thanks.." "you don't need to thank me, honestly you don't. I'm merely stating a

fact." I smiled at him and would have almost said 'I love you' if I hadn't have stopped myself. I looked down suddenly upset, making Tom frowned. "Dougie? Is everything alright?" I nodded wiping my eyes. "y-yeah... It's just, I-I'm struggling with the fact y-you can't remember me.." "oh.." "it's not your fault. Honestly don't say I'm sorry either. It'll upset me more, cos you don't know the exact reason I'm upset"

"do you want to tell me the reason why?" I shook my head quickly. "N-no. I'm not allowed"! "why?" "the doctors and Harry, told me not to. I could make you worse. I

don't want to make you worse. Your my best friend, I couldn't live with myself if I made you worse" "shhh it's alright Dougie, you don't need to tell me. I'm sure I'll

remember in time." he said softly as he reached over you me and ruffled my hair gently. "I'm sure if you help me the way you are, I'll remember in no time" he smiled his dazzling smile, making me calm down instantly. "come here" he asked opening his arm slightly. I stood up and wrapped my arms around him hesitantly.

"thank you, Tommie" he laughed softly tightening his hug around me. "any time Dougs, I mean what are friends for?" although I felt a stab in my chest when he said it, I still felt safe in his arms. I love him enough to know deep down he loved me too.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

A couple more weeks had passed with Tom being in the hospital and now he was going home. He still hadn't remembered anything after we got together. No matter what I tried I couldn't break through that brick wall in his mind. I was slowly getting more and more upset and depressed as the days went on. Not that I let anyone see it. So many times I had thought about hurting or killing myself. Lord knows the

world would be better off without me. Every night in the hospital my dreams had been haunted with memories of me and Tom together. I knew he would never remember me, he would had been able to by now surely. I hardly eaten anything while I was with him. One cos I didn't feel hungry and two I hated myself. Nobody noticed I wasn't eating or sleeping much thankfully and if the did they never said anything. Our

engagement rings still hung on the chain around my neck, still as icy as the day I put them there.

I looked around the house with tired eyes, as I helped Tom into the house weakly but not showing how weak I really was. Tom's eyes were wide with wonder and excitement. "we really all live here?" "yeah we do" I said with a weak smile.

"so where to first, Fletcher?" Harry said laughing softly. Tom yawned loudly. He to hadn't had much sleep no thanks to me waking him up with my embarrassing moans and whines.

"Haz he needs sleep." I said making Harry freeze with realisation. "Tom do you mind sharing a bed with Doug? Cos we haven't finished redecorating his room so he was sharing with you" I shook my head. "N-no Haz I'll sleep on the soft." I looked at Harry with pleading eyes. That was defiantly something I couldn't do. I couldn't share a bed while Tom didn't remember me, I'd end up feeling worse than I do now. Harry sighed and nodded. Tom looked at me speaking quietly "Dougie, it's fine if you want to share my bed. I don't mind honest" "n-no I'll just sleep on the sofa in your room. It wouldn't be right me sleeping in the same bed as you. Especially when you still don't

really know me..." he nodded slowly.

"okay if your sure" "I'm positive. Now come on let's get you upstairs." After about five minutes of us struggling (me more than Harry) to get Tom upstairs we finally got him to our room. The room which made me almost cry with the amount of memories that happened in here. It was in here where we officially became a couple. It was in here that I proposed to Tom before we went to the restaurant. And it was in here that almost every single best memory of us together was made. I swallowed heavily as I looked around and helped Tom onto the bed. I looked to Harry who knew how hard it must be for me. But he didn't know half of it. I was in so much pain that I wanted to die. I couldn't live with Tom never remembering me. It was just too hard.

"I-I'm... I'm going f-for a shower" I said before running to bathroom and locking the door behind me. I walked straight over to the medicine cabinet and grabbed the packet of razors off the top shelf. I needed rid of the pain and this was the only way I knew how. I pulled a razor out of the packet and slid to the floor, pulling up my trouser leg. I looked down at my skin with teary eyes and dug the blade into my leg making a deep cut. As soon as I saw the blood slide down my leg to the floor I felt a little better. I dug another line into my leg when I felt the pain coming back and watched the blood drip onto the floor, making small splashes in the little pool of blood which was forming on the floor.

Tom's POV

This room was a lot better than the hospital one. It was quieter and it felt safer. Although it felt like someone was missing in here, in this bed with me. Someone really close. Not a brother or sister close but someone you love deeply, close. I looked over at a photo of me and Dougie with our arms around each other. Dougie looked so happy, compared to what he does now. I felt really bad for him. I guess we were best friends cos all around my room were pictures of us together and a few with Harry and Danny in them as well. I grabbed my Mickey Mouse teddy which I could remember Dougie gave me and cuddled it to me falling to sleep almost instantly.

Harry's POV

Butty had been in the bathroom for over an hour now and I could still hear him crying. I just hoped he wasn't doing what I think he was doing. Suddenly I heard the shower turn on. I knocked on the door. "Butty you alright" "y-yeah... I need a shower I look horrible..." I heard him say faintly. "don't get mad at me when I ask this but... You haven't... Ya know.. Again?" "n-no. I'm just tired from crying... I need the shower to wake me up" "oh, okay. Do you want some soup for dinner?" "y-yes please"

I nodded to myself and walked downstairs. In the back of my mind something was telling me he was lying, but I was probably being over protective. Dougie was like my little brother in a way, so I had a right to be protective of him. I looked over to Danny who was on the sofa and smiled brightly. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms

around him as I sat down. He laughed softly. "what's this for?"

"I want to give you a hug is that so bad?" "no..." he said putting his head on my chest smiling. "Danny?" "yeah?" "you know your my best friend right?" "uh huh. Yeah."

"good." "why'd you say that? We've always been best friends. That's why your the only person I told about me and Georgia splitting up."

"I just wanted to know... It's just been a long day that's all" "oh... Wanna talk about it? I mean talking to your ex can be hard for anyone but then having to get your two other best friends from hospital can be harder. And you've done both.. How is Butty anyway?" "he's in the shower, he said he's tired from crying.. But he should be down soon for food..."

"hmm... Did... Did he look thin to you? Not how he normally is but ill kind of thin. like he's starving himself?" I frowned and then nodded. "yeah he did kinda. Oh god I'm so stupid" I groaned rubbing my face. Why hadn't I seen it earlier? I knew he was gonna hurt himself some way. I automatically though he'd start cutting himself again like last time. But no he was starving himself this time, and I couldn't force food down his throat cos he could make himself sick. Heck, he threw up before shows and other stuff anyway.

"Haz don't blame yourself. Please don't. I l..." he stopped mid sentence. "dan? What were you gonna say?" "it... It doesn't matter." "no come on tell me" he shook his head.

"don't make me say it please. You'll laugh at me or run away from me.." he said looking down at his hands. I sighed. What Danny didn't know, was after spending so many weeks with him, I started getting feelings for him. Like I wanted to be more than friends but I couldn't tell him. I was too scared to what he might say to me.

Dougie's POV

After Harry went down stairs I dropped the blade into the sink and walked into the shower after undressing myself. I could feel the blood still pouring from the fresh cuts on my leg, there was no pain just.. Emptiness. It was peaceful, I felt better, although in the back of my mind I knew if either Harry, Danny or even Tom found out I was cutting again it would upset them. I watched my blood run down my leg and mix

with the water in the shower tray, turning the water around my feet pink. All my pain escaping out of me slowly. I closed my eyes raising my head to the water letting it drum against my body.

I blew the water off my nose as I turned the shower off and grabbed a towel wrapping it around my waist. I wrinkled my nose as I walked to the sink. My leg had stopped bleeding but it stung so I wrapped a bandage around my leg tying it tightly. I cleaned the blade I had used, carefully hiding it on the top shelf of the medicine cabinet and

limped into Tom's room so I could get my clothes. I paused as I saw his beautiful sleeping face and tried to stop myself from crying again as I got dressed.

Why couldn't he just remember me already, hadn't I had enough crap these past years? My dad walked out on me, my best friend died, all my previous girlfriends had cheated on me and now this. Who did I piss off to deserve this? He shifted in his sleep

screwing up his face, clearly having another one of his nightmares "d-dougie... P-please d-don't not doug." he groaned in his sleep. I crawled in bed next to him and wrapped my arms around him shushing him softly. He relaxed curling into my chest as I stroked his hair gently.

"It's okay Tommie they aren't going to hurt me I'm right here" I whispered softly, pausing to yawn as I suddenly felt tired. I kept stoking his hair gently as I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier until I eventually fell to sleep.

Harry's POV

"dan what time is it?" I asked looking down at him as he was cuddled up to my chest. He picked up the sky remote pressing an arrow key. "9:44pm" he read off the little bar. "why?" "dougie came out of the shower over an hour ago and I'm just.. worried."

"Haz, he's probably just cleaning his old room" "maybe I just can't shake the feeling like he's done something to himself..." "would you like me to go check on him?" he asks and I nod once. 'you're being over protective again Harry' my brain shouted at me as Danny pushed himself off the sofa. "wait Danny I'll go. You need the rest" "b-but.." he was about to argue, however I had already pushed myself off the sofa quickly and ran upstairs.

I checked his room. Nothing. Just boxes piled everywhere, half decorated walls and white plastic sheets we had put everywhere to protect everything. Then I walked to the bathroom, again nothing other than snotty tissues that were clearly Dougs a wet towel and wet foot prints leading from the shower. so I picked up the tissues placing them in the bin, picked up his wet towel off the floor throwing it in the wash basket and left the room. There would only be one place he could be and that was Tom's room. I knew he wouldn't be in mine, or Danny's room or the music room cos he would want to be looking after Tom. I pushed the door open silently, spotted them together on the bed almost instantly. Tom was curled up-to Dougie's chest with his arms around him as he whimpered softly in his sleep. He screwed his face up

gently, indercating he was having a bad dream. Dougie however was still fully clothed with one arm wrapped around Tom, protectively, as his other hand was tangled lightly in Tom's hair.

His head leaned to one side clearly he hadn't meant to fall asleep there. He looked

peaceful. It was most peaceful I'd seen him sleep in a long time. His chest moved slightly under the weight of Tom on him. Also his nose and fingers twitched softly as his stomach growled quietly. I decided it was best not to wake him, anyone could tell the poor lad needed sleep, especially with the dark bags forming under his eyes. I sighed and left the room returning to Danny.


End file.
